I was a child emotionally for most of my life.  The book “Work Abuse” is important to me because it opened up a world to me intellectually that I would later find extremely useful.  Because I could not stomach the business world I never thrived in my job.  However, I have knowledge I feel  very grateful to have.  If reading a book taught me nothing emotionally it was not the author’s fault, nor his book.

It is key that during my first years of all the harassment and scapegoating, two men stuck their necks out to help and I stepped on their toes.  I was clumsy and I know they understand that I was really messed up.  Nobody else had answers.  People gave up on me or lead me down blind alleys.  I’m grateful I can see so much good that they did.

I want the people who studied this text with me to know that I used the book to survive work.  The thriving part was not possible in my case.  I am just now finding love and compassion in places I never though possible.  I was not able to love while being a scapegoat at work.  It has taken 6 years into retirement to find myself.

I did everything my brain could understand I should do under the circumstances.  I was not an easy person to deal with.  I want to apologize to all concerned for not being sensitive enough to others’ feelings.  I just could not do it because I found the world at the time such a hostile place.

I realize that I got the book somewhat at an intellectual level, but my social status at work made it difficult to be satisfied just to know that the perceived bullies I worked with were not any healthier than I was.  And they sure weren’t!  We were all pawns.

I was fortunate to enjoy retirement because I held a belief that I could fight as long as my husband was planning well.  Also because the lessons in the book helped me reduce my natural enemies (I didn’t make them enemies, they were made for me) to silly school children acting out a soap opera theme based on propaganda created for the survival of our company with which we were all employed.

It isn’t sinister at all though.  It is just a game and we all had a part to play.  I forgive people and I hope they forgive me.  We were all just so misguided.

I wish the remaining study buddies well if they are still employed or suffering in retirement from all the abuse.  It can get better with love and compassion, which admittedly I didn’t have the capacity for when I first read that book.

I am so happy to be in a position to appreciate that I can see the man behind the curtain.  Thank you to all my study mates.

Peace to all.

 

 

 

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